On Both Banks is now Live!

It is with a great deal of excitement that I announce the release of On Both Banks, now available via Amazon in print and kindle editions!

On Both Banks

On Both Banks follows the lives of nightmares as they traverse the spaces where humans dream. Carla is a young girl who lives in two worlds, unaware of her mother’s role in those in-between places. It is the story of enmity between a malign intelligence called The City and the twisted horrors that stand in its way, and of those unaware they have been touched by shadowy benefactors.

Chances are, you’ve played a role in the story already.

Customers who buy the print edition can download the drm-free kindle edition at no cost.



Well, 2018 is chugging along nicely. I am pleased to say that Jana Heidersdorf has agreed to illustrate the cover of On Both Banks. I fell in love with her work as soon as I saw it, and am so happy she agreed to take on this project. You can see her work at https://janaheidersdorf.com. The draft artwork look amazing, and I look forward to being able to share it with you soon!

With Life, The Universe, and Everything sliding along at its current rate, we should be on target for a March release! I can’t tell you how excited I am. Just imagine Kermit the Frog flailing his arms, screaming “Yeeeeaaaaahhhh!!!” and you’d arrive at a reasonable approximation.

Also, this little placeholder of a site will be spruced up soon by the talented Stacy Six. She is a skilled web designer and talented artist, and you can see some of her work at http://stacysix.com

Then there is Facebook. I have lived this long without it, but many folks have offered the same blunt advice: If you are going to self-publish, you need a Facebook account.

So I made one, and they temporarily disabled my account and asked for a headshot. I sent them a picture of my beautiful mug and they fully disabled my account.

Well, ain’t that a slap in the face. I’m not Facebook’s type, it seems.

My wife was more irate about it than I was as she has spent the better part of five years trying to convince me to make a Facebook account. And when I tried? Ha!

“Pthththtb!” as Bill the Cat might say.

Well, I hope your January is going smoothly, and I’ll keep you posted.

Happy New Year!

January 1st is here again, and with it, the grand schemes and broken promises that we call “New Years Resolutions.”

How did last year’s resolutions work out for you? Mine was to outlive 2017 without becoming completely cynical. I know that seems pretty flippant and blandly absurdist, but dude, did you see the news this year? If you came out of the last year without having burnt out the empathy centers of your brain, you deserve an award.

So, instead of a list of resolutions, of promising to alter my habits or behavior in such a way that I end up feeling bad about failing, I’m posting four things I want to achieve. This way I can check back around this time next year and see how I did.

1) Start Something and Finish something in the same year.
This is a bold one for me. I generally work on the “Primordial Ooze / Stewpot of The Gods” creative method: On low heat, keep throwing stuff in a pot until something edible turns up. Or, you know, you create life. This year, I am typing the first words of a project today with the goal of having it published, even self published, by year’s end.

2) Learn how to sell myself.
I come from a family where self-aggrandizing was a sign of a poor story teller. We’re sort of a self-deprecating lot. We tattle on ourselves for comedic affect, and there is nothing like a good story of poor-planning and self-inflicted injury to liven a family gathering. With On Both Banks coming out this year, I’m going to have to really get out there and put on a show. Sell the Author. Sell the Book. I can do this without self-aggrandizement, and hopefully without setting the kitchen on fire again, neither.

3) I grok the flavors for mixing my own chili and barbecue seasonings. I want to learn the same for sweet and savory curries. I mean, a premixed curry powder in a jar is convenient and all, but is a poor facsimile for what I can get at the food truck two blocks over. Crap, now, I’m hungry…

4) Do not succumb to the Curse of Greyface. As you get older, it’s tough sometimes to remember how to dance, especially when balancing a farm on your back, so to speak. The last couple of years, I’ve looked up a few times and went “Oh! Oh HELL no!” Ran to the closet, threw on my most garish clothing, and spent the day doing all the things I would have done anyways, but this time doing them fabulously. Do everything fabulously. Be vengefully fabulous. But do not inhale glitter. Pneumonia is nobody’s friend.

So, 2019 me. How’d I do?

The First of Many

Well, just as certain brothers from Chicago were compelled to “get the band back together,” I am returning from my social media hermitage to rebuild the Great and Glorious Clarencian Empire. For those of you just joining us, I am the former editor of semidomesticatedprimate.org, the author of City of Leverite, as well as author of several books coming down the pike in the next couple of years.

I hope you will join be on this next bit of silliness as I put myself online without a pseudonym and dance around like a fool.